soliloquy.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

hello. supposed to be studying science, but somehow can't concentrate, and i'm super drained out after chinese. omg. thinking about next week makes me feel like dying. sigh.

man, i've been pmsing this whole time.. couldn't tell. sigh. stupid period. could you be a bit more regular!! ah. thought it was getting regular then, suddenly change.. argh.. irritating. haiz. well, thank God at least, i don't have it when we're playing mg!! that's something i'm happy about.

oh no, but tomorrow we've got a 10-round run. die lah.. i'm going to cramp up half way. sigh. suay. nevermind. i shan't complain. i must learn to stop complaining. improving.... still can be improved..

omg. i don't understand. what's the difference between amylaese and ptylain? pepsin and protease? lipase? omg. i think i'm so screwed for tomorrow. haha. who cares. deeda. i'm super tired. i can sleep right now though i slept for one hour this afternoon. haha. peeg.

omg. please pray for me! ah. i'm super stressed. 5 tests! i think my school is MAD. please!? what crap. you trying to turn all of us into suicidists? (such a word??? dunno) bleaugh.

piano teacher rocks, sent me home, cos she said i looked as if i was going to collapse anytime if i walked back. haha. :D but she was quite pissed with my playing today. and i was pissed with her too (hah! signs of pms) cos she kept making me replay.. haha.. usually i don't get pissed. i don't mind replaying. yeah, but today, my playing was exceptionally horrid, considering i didn't touch the piano for 2 weeks. actually i never DO touch the piano.. so not much difference. haha. eh, i didn't want to sign up for the stupid exam, she forced me into it. ergh.. and! i'm still quite irritated by the fact that NONE of my piano teachers ever let me skip a grade. i'm supposed to be grade 7 now!!! but nooooo.. i HAD to take my grade 5. humph. haha. actually i'm ok with it. i don't even sound like a grade 6 pianist for goodness sake. but piano's fun. whee. guitar!!! i want to learn! somebody forgot. whatever.. can't be bothered. haha. like whatever man.. so bimbo!! whee. i'm a ugly, smart bimbo!!

oh man.. i'm screwed. i so don't have a sleeveless white top neither do i have footwear. supposed to borrow from my aunt who has all. but she hasn't replied my smses since monday!! ah!! haha. don't care.. i take someone's shirt cut the sleeves off. i can wear my school shoes! they're white. -.- omg.. i'm so lame. help me.

woot! going to meet rach at 1130 at famous amos. we are SO eating pasta mania.. if she doesn't mind, which i doubt she will. haha. jojo. sigh.. go pak tor.. fineeeee. :P you finished then come and look for us. sawah's the chaperone.. like whaaaaaaaat. lamp post lah please.. haha. :D dru got school -.-" haha. nevermind. i go and take a lot with rachel. don't care about 3 of you. haha. eh. i've taken with rach and dru already laaaaaarh. i don't care. you all come and take with me first then continue with your pak toring. humph. liew.. ditch us for them lor.. wah.. so nice huh!! :P can we come spy? haha. :D oh. supposed to meet at 130. deeda. can't wait!

BUT first, have to last through tomorrow. the whole day boring lessons know! how suay.. and i'll prolly end up stoning during squash, cos i can't run.. sigh. better study then.. and. i've got no dindin. hmm. so sad. tis ok. diet.. lose weight. whee. oh no.. next week is drawing nearer!! :O well. i better go and study my science before i fail it too. argh.

so they said.

back from school. chinese test. sigh. REALLY hope i can pass. sigh. ah. omg. i'm super dead. next week we've got 5 tests in 3 days. how pro!! then sports day. and supposedly holiday but now we've got spoontaneous!!! arghhh. that's depressing. yup.

oh. today was camille abuse day. haha. actually almost everyday is but sitll. today was extra abuse camille. started with 2 girls throwing paper balls at me, then everybody started picking up the balls and throwing them at me. and da jie and i were fighting, throwing ball everywhere. haha. then, becky stuffed stuff down my uniform. and then everybody started slapping camille. whee. but we all had a good laugh. i think we were all destressing after that *toot* chinese test. haha. whee. tomorrow got science test. sigh.

very tired. feel like sleeping. but i'm not tired. just mentally super exhausted. argh. well. i've got nothing to say except that om's in one week! oh crap. deeda. yeah. omg. i'm going to die tomorrow. 6am-9pm! ahhh. school. squash. choir. nevermind. i'll be hyper for choir. i'll try.. haha. but squash. darn.. woah.. never knew school was so draining. SOOOO draining. deeda.

OHOHOHOHOH!! SATURDAY'S CAMP ECHO!!! haha. i just remembered. :S yupyup. go judah!! trailing by 2 points. come on!! we can do it! i hope. haha. :D whee. S-U-P-E-R super that's what we are. S-O-L-I-D solid that's what we are... go judah! haha.

k. seriously have nothing interesting to say. tata. :D

lori you rock!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks sooooooooooooooooo much!!! ah!! i love you!!! ah!!! thanks sooo much!! :D

so they said.

hi. baaaack. just finished reading my chinese stuff. super not prepared. haiz. nevermind shall drop the subject of chinese. deeda. yup.

omg! i just realised something! i might be getting my period when we play against mg.. oh man.. sigh. so sad. i usually play like crap when i have my thing. noo. haha. i shall not complain. hmm. just play my best. deeda. rgs! don't know if we can beat them flat. my friends say cannnot? oh yeah. maybe 4-1? cos they've got pamela. eh please our school is the only school with nobody. mg got gillian and nicole. then, rg got pamela.. oh wait. nanyang also. but haha. nanyang. hahaha. ok sorry, that was mean. :S hehez. sorry. deeda. yup. erm. fairfield got agnes. please.. mg beat ff 5-0 i hope we can do that too, if not we're dead against mg. sigh. wonder what the line-up is going to be. this one i'm not doing, he only lets me do the lousy schools.. haha. :D

so many important things happening! om, nationals, easter, mid-year. oh dear, i'm going to get torn apart. that reminds me. mid-year is coming up. i better start studying!! ah!! streaming! sigh. don't want to think about it. i can't decide. the super super obvious path to take is trip science, full lit. ergh. but i can't handle full lit. so i'll take half.. hehez. but yeah. the main thing is trip. budden.. like what happens if i can't take the stress on top of everything now.. aiyo.. boils down to trust again.. guess, i really have to pray about it.

omg. why is everything on my blog filled with school stuff. super boring lah. hah! that's my life.. boring. sigh. whee. can't wait for saturday. finally can go out!! do you know how long i haven't gone out!! like 2 weeks!? oh , that's quite short. but STILL.. ok i don't care. we SO have to take neoprints. we haven't taken a SINGLE one with jojo and sawah in it. aiyo!? then we can send over to tamooi!! :D yay. but first we have to take!!! can you all come earlier or something! oh. and i need to go shopping.. got my buddy's birthday present to buy. and my school friend's birthday present to buy.. haha. my buddy's birthday was last saturday.. so paiseh.. she gave me present one day late. i give 1 week late lah.. then tomorrow's my friend's birthday. i think i'm such a nice friend. haha. whatever cam. -.- oh no, am talking to myself again.

aiyo! stop nagging lah mum.. not my fault our timetable's clash. humph. mine's super flexible, i can stay back like until anytime. it's just the transport, and what i'm doing.. haha.. my poor gramma, she's been piking me up practically the whole week. ok, and now she's not answering her phone. great. haha. deeda. i know.. i'm super pampered, don't take bus.. eh. please. i live super far from school. and yeah. i AM lazy. well , hello. remember i am a peeg! :D haha. actually i'm a cat. but eww.. please. i hate cats. and keefer. just keefer. haha. sorry rach. it's not my fault. your dog did try to have sex with me ok! i still can remember.. i almost cried!! and jojo and you were laughing. riiight. nice friends ah.. haha. never come and save me. haha.

whee. piano teacher on the phone. haha. i think she's going to kill me, she was like OH MY G**! you haven't touched your piano in two weeks! haha. and now charlsey's in my room. looking for small towers. please!!! pronounce your words boy!! towels. with an 'L'. oh.. that day we were all laughing at my stupid geog teacher. can't stand her. i don't hate her. just find her irritating. aiyo.. her engrish ah. her accent super fake. it's those try-to-put-on-american-accent-but-can't-cos-singlish-too-strong accents. which i find MOST MOST MOST MOST irritating. especially if you cannot even pronounce your words! aiyo. minerals. she pronounces as mineras. please!? save me.. and she thinks she's SO smart. i'm forever debating with her. i don't think i'm smart. i AM smart. so stop trying to argue with me!! hahahahahahhahahahahaha. i'm sorry. jjkjjjkjjjkjjjkjjkjjkjjk!! haha. but really. aiyo. she asked me to specify how to change the water in the toilet bowls. what crap!? change the whole system lah then.. humph. then cannot accept. make me redo that question. then. we were having class debate thing. i wasn't debating with the other half of the class i was debating with her!? and then AIYO!? i can go on and on and on about how irritating she is. but i won her once. she admitted defeat!! HAH! ok, i think i'm going mad lah.. whee. mrs hong. bleagh. haha. i think she's o...k... but now that nice. though she thinks we like her. yeah. and she walks into class and says "good morning 2SY" *trying not to roll eyes*

stuff i practise in school: longsuffering. learn to practise (with mrs hong). self-control. keep myself awake during lessons. now that i've changed place, i'm super in the teacher's most obvious view.. it sucks. haha. whee. ok. i better go and sleep though it's still early.

eh remember ah.. go and take neoprint! and i must take card with jojo, dru and sawah. if i have enough money, then take with rach too. haha. cos i already took with her. deeda. ok. comp hanging on me AGAIN. sigh. gtg. buhbye!!

so they said.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

bleugh.

cramming for hcl test tomorrow. i can't afford to fail. but it's not my fault. i didn't know i had a test. i'm really SUPER scared. first test i've been scared for the whole year. sigh. please pray. mhmm. yeah. then friday got science test. started studying. i haven't started studying my chinese for today though. going to do it after this. sigh. should be able to finish. but i'm not confident. since when have i been confident of higher chinese. sigh. and i thought i learnt my lesson.

our home econs test was super successful. people said our food was super good. haha. :D yay! we didn't practise at all. we didn't even have a clue what we were going to do lor! we just went there and started cooking everything. the teacher's helped us a lot. thank goodenss for them, if not we would have ruined everything. eh. my friends say i look super pro when i cook. woah.. haha. look only lah please.. i can't cook for nuts. haha. i cooked the chinese mushrooms and they loved it!! :D haha. anyway, we used corn beef, sausages, chinese mushrooms, spaghetti, tomato sauce thingy, and puff pastry! it was actually good. ahah. :D i think we're just pro.. ;D just joking. but we had a good laugh. i think it was a bit undercook, but everything was quite ok in the end. haha. woot!was scared my friend was going to blow up, was scared that she was going to. i really admire my other friend, how she can somehow tolerate my friend's moods. :S anyways. yup. we were forcing each other to buy the stuff. :D

then today we had prefect marching during recess. so bo liao. hate marching. super not fun. but sigh. can't complain. haha. i commanded! :D so cool! haha. please. only once. i'll let the rest command next time. aiyo. sports day is next thursday. i better not lose my voice. cos sat got OM. i think our group SUPER suay. why did we have to get into nationals.. haiz. hahahahahhahhaha. super ironic huh. we didn't even put in much effort and everybody thought we did. haha. and we got in.. how suay. we didn't want to get in. now we're quite excited about it. let's go to america! yay! sure get a lot of cca points huh! haha. joking..

i'm very scared i lose my voice than cannot sing. i'm scared i screw it by going off or something. but yay. let's just put in our best for the next week!! i think it's worth the experience since i've never done such a thing before. and MAN it's a LOT of work. omg!! i'm super proud of our group!! we got 24/25 for creativity!! like WOOOOOOOOT!!! haha. but the mother's costume we got 6/10.. actually i also don't know why we won. hope our friends go and cheer!! super excited! yay. anyway, better go. eat dinner in 5 mins then mug until i sleep. sigh. tata.
p.s lori!! help me add the archive thing. and.. and make the small box next to this longer and change the words pink stripes on the top left to soliloquy [kameiw]. and link everybody for me. haha. thanks. username: orangekameiw
password: hilori

so they said.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

sigh. ooba stressed. ah. just yelled at my bro. i hate it when i blow up. was thinking about pms. permanant mood swings. some of my friends have that. really a test of my longsuffering. and knowing me. my patience cum tolerance level is ooba low. haiz. something i REALLY need to work on. talking about things to work on. i soooo need to stop swearing. i've stopped saying damn and shit. but aiyo. when i blow up.. omg. i've never seen myself so vulgar. sigh. it's sad. it's sad to see how i'm so not set apart from the world, and how i'm actually LETTING myself go with the flow, cos it's so much easier to go with them then to go against it.

"i will follow Him, i will run the race, fight the good fight, standing on my faith" "deny myself and take up the cross" nice song. haiz. just snapped at my mum. CAMILLE! crap.. i'm blowing up again. i'm SUUUUUUUPER stressed. and i'm SUUUUUPER far away from the Lord. i'm super lost. and i don't know what to do. stop with the i! man, talk about schizo. well. sigh. i better go back to the Lord. i really am dying without Him. Why can't i be good all the time? "but it goes against my way, the put my human nature down" sigh. just quoting stuff from songs, but i think i screwed the lyrics a bit. hehez. :S

well, better go and sleep. sigh. nite.

so they said.

know what. i was typing half way. and thanks to san-jie's computer, she shut down my whole computer. stupid san-jie. anyways. yeah, in comp studies now. whee. we finished our thing so yeah. can come online. mrs canham rocks! yay. :D uh huh. this morning had to go announce the results of yesterdays cometition. so embarrassing. thank goodness i didn't trip over something man. haha. :D anyways. deeda. the happiness from yesterday is gone. :S haiz. that was fast. yup. am bored. omg. i've got a higher chinese test on thursday. and i JUST found out about it today.. oh man.. i'm so dead lah. then friday got science test. like. die. next week also have.

whee, the things that cheer me up are nationals [though i hate squash] and Easter concert. i love stuff to do with church. haha. why? prolly for the wrong reasons. somehow i feel it's like an escape from school. from the world. where i can get together with my super good friends. somehow my church friends can bring a sense of joy that my school friends can't bring.

my friends are bugging me to tell them my url though i don't want to tell them. they're searching google lor.. uh oh.. what happens if they find? haha. never mind. i'll make another one for them then. haiz troublesome san-jie.. haha.

OMG!know what!cos we did well in o'levels. we've got a holiday next friday! go miss heng! woot! thurs sports day then friday no school. i want to go out! anybody want? haha. crap. you all got school. hmm. this saturday going to watch movie. finally! i haven't watched a movie in ages lor.. plus! it's the gospel of John.. super +++++ yay! ok. better go create the blog before they complain. humph. write again when i get home! buhbye.

so they said.

Monday, March 22, 2004

hi! just came back from squash comp. woot! we thrashed nanyang 5-0!! haha. too bad jojo and sawah.. ohoh! we heard the nanyang nanyang cheer. with the xi li li and the hua la la. nanyang nanyang ding gua gua! hahaahaahahaaha sorry lah. we were laughing. so cute! they were like __ jia you! haha. so china! so cute! :) no offence. well yeah. i kinda screwed my game up. i think mtan wasn't really pleased. sigh. i whacked her eye mask, and the whole thing fell off. omg. what's with me and eye's and reverse boasts. AH!! hate myself. i suck. sigh. so proud of you guys! you all did well! anyways, continue fighting. come on! let's win back the gold! haha. "we will fight until the end" that's part of our cheer. sigh. why can i fight so hard for squash but not for the Lord? isn't He so much more important and more worth fighting for. man, cam, i don't understand you. -.-"

understand me. nobody does. not even me. twinified. love that term. made it up myself. i want a real twin. as in identical twin. haha. i think it's super cool! twin. hmm. i don't think anybody will understand this. not even jojo and rach. ahah. :D having a twin is freaky. don't you think. i think it is. haha. :D fun but scary. you stick a lot around a person you'll have stuff alike, the way you talk and all that. but not THAT alike. right. that's what i find freaky. please. i know. my twin is pretty, that's a difference. haha. pretty obvious. think the whole world knows. but uh huh. the whole world never knew that i knew. some differences. but please. haha. whee. it's fun too. another one, i wouldn't call twin. but she thinks we're quite alike. though i don't think so. please. it's just cos we hang around a lot together. haha. guess, stuff rubs off? whee. acutally i think this is dumb, since it's pretty obvious. but. haha. it's vague. do i HAVE a twin or not? -raises eyebrow-

yesterday was the first combined rehearsal. i really hope aunty emily is relieved. woot! go youth choir! we rawk! we learnt the actions in one day, and we actually managed to pull it off! the power of prayer. :D we had drums for this kingdom! WOAH! never knew our church so funky wan. hmm. honestly i was a bit taken aback, when i saw the set of drums. ah i want to learn to play! it's freaking cool.. wait. guitar first.. leart guitar first. haha. :D piano.. i think i'm hopeless at it. seriously. considering i don't even touch it, until lesson time. super not musically inclined. haha. yup. heard daddy sing a bit. you rock lah! wah lao.. you sing very well. haha. the pastors sang really well too!! go t kennth! to p mitch! go p mark! whoo! didn't get to hear the whole song though. was chased out. haiz. but from what i heard. you guys can sing man! power!!!! RACHAEL!!!! WHOOOOOOOOO! SC GIRL. i must keep stressing that she's from sc.. haha. sc produces such successful people. like whatever right. haha. :D sorry. a bit ego. a bit. omg, here i go again, running myself down. haha. :D

omg. mrs choo kept picking on me the whole day. what the... aiyo! whole day.. sigh.

anyway, back to the easter concert. i think we can do it. i know we can! come on Bethany!!!! whoo! haha. the funny part was "and there was light" we're supposed to 'sweep' down. please. must as well give me a broom. hello. you're asking camille to sweep down. i'll trip over my feet lah. haha. anyway. yeah. then i was first. -.- and! haha. i didn't know how to 'sweep' deeda. and i just started running. cos the phrase is so short! hahahahahahahhahaha. so funny. ok. sorry. yeah. oh no. i don't have clothes for choir know. aiyo. somemore this sunday is full dress. haha. and i've got no voice! i screamed too much before camp and during camp. thus no voice. i think my voice is going to be like my father's.

deeda. ahha. when we were during sing hosanna sing. then there was this part we all knelt down. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. my father was standing there lah!?omg. if we weren't presenting it to pastor i honestly would have rolled off stage laughing. i just think of it and i can't stop laughing. da! you rock! haha. :D

super tired. don't know what got me pissed. but you should have seen my balls. omg. i was hitting SUPER hard. haha. i was trying to scare my opponent. but throughtout i was hitting super hard. thank goodness my hand didnt' fly off or something. haha. :D my drops a BIT high ah.. a bit. :S why can't i play 100% so sad.. next match rgs. a bit scared. i think should be ok lah. they don't look THAT tough. :S well. yeah. do our best lah! "play your best for the Lord" kept ringing in my head. thanks kor. mhmm. everybody thought i was crying in the court.

well, yeah. gtg. got homework. buhbye!! :D

so they said.