Saturday, May 01, 2004
SCREWDOM.
uhuh. my phone just beeped. darn. now i have to walk to my bed and read it.. and probably reply. when i just started blogging. hah.
omg. i sooo cannot wait for the 12 of may. i think exams are STUPID. have i mentioned i think they're STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. hahahhhaahahhaha. i study. then i do. then the last day i go crazy. like some siao ding dong. then end of years come. and the same sense of despair, depression and euphoria AGAIN. omg. it's getting kinda boring you know.. i rather it be ALL euphoria.. eh. humph. played squash today again. hehez. my mum was like. your break time is longer than your study time. argh. whatever. seriously the drive ain't there. i'm super heck care attitude lah. aiyo. i'm on gear 10 to screwdom. and there's no gear 10 in the car thingy right. hm.. k fine. i'm not becoming an engineer.
ok. it was sherman. peeg. telling the whole world he changed his number. p. sherman wallaby. ask jojo. she came up with it. she's got the whole thing memorised. i just go p sherman wallaby or aasherm. muahahahahah. i'm naughty. :P ok. ow. got stummy ache. ouch.
parents are out. whee! tomorrow going to church. miss everybody in church and church. today totally didn't feel like a saturday when i didn't go to church. so sad. i miss chimes and choir. min! i don't think i can make it for chimes tomorrow lah. cos if i have more time to supposedly "study" then i'll have more time to slack. and after i slack i always study. you see. so yeah. it's this stupid useless cycle. hm. i finished one chapter of history. 3 down. 2 more to go before tuesday. lit. i haven't started. my weakest subject. i've already given up hope on it. just hope i pass. whatever lit. ergh. i'm sick of school. ahhh. ok. yeah.
made up a new word! numbious. ok. haha. cos was feeling bleaghed today then listened to blasting linkin park.. and yeah. listening to numb. i've been listening to everytime like 40 times today already. singing it 100 times.. aiyo. i AM dying. have i said my parents are out? yeah. they're at east coast beach. with the session members and all. why are they having fun when i'm stuck here. omg. life sucks. it super isn't fair. yeah they had their share. my mum ah.. she'll just go on and on and on about her nerd life when she was a student. wah lao. she study like crap lah. irritating. hahahahah. can't be bothered.
i'm getting old. i'm shedding hair man. i'm shedding hair. haha. and i used to have a lot of hair to spare. now lengthwise.. erm. not really eh. dumdeedum. wait. yeah. i studied one chapter of history. then. revised my math index notation and standard form. geog finished natural resources. except for the map. science i did my test paper. woah. that's damn little. better than nothing right. i kept falling asleep when i studied my history. liew. boring like crap. i was watching sound of music. christopher plummer. siiiigh. -grin- yeah. then studied history and did science then went to play squash. then i went to watch this tamil show until i realised it ended at 7 so i went to bathe and i did geog. then i watched crocodile dundee and did math until now. yup. morning.. watched jetsons.. and sabrina. went for piano. did history fell asleep until lunch. then lunch watched sound of music. 3 hours mah. hahaha. i think i suck. noon i KNOW i suck. i tell you i'm going to get grounded after i get back my results. handphone get confiscated. damnit. but i can't push myself. there's SUPER no drive AT ALL. i haven't started on my chinese yet. haha. it's next wednesday. aiyah. heck lah. i really wanna quit school ergh. stupid school. i don't think i'm ever going to thank the government for exams. really i don't see the point. hello. exams are for those who never pay attention in class. woi. i got pay attention k!
ohoh. tamil shows rock. they've got really interesting stories. but i never understand. just watch. some have subtitles. malay or english who cares. read them all. haha. today watched one about this schizophrenic guy who's not schizo but acting schizo. wah lao. super good lah. hahaha. he scared the shit out of me. i was screaming and screaming. and i'm getting scared now.. haha. going to get nightmares.. ahha crocodile dundee is HOT. hahahahhahaha. nice arse dude. i go for old men know.. hahaha. ask jojo. haha. christopher plummer. christopher lee. [what's with the christopher] edmund chen. edison chen. dale pengelly. adam-jon florentino. crocodile dundee don't know what his name is.. haha. super funny. i was laughing and laughing with charlsey. hahaha. :D so nice. he's really really funny. he killed the machine snake. hahaha. i was screaming and screaming. AIYO. the part where he caused the whole highway to stop.. cos of a "dog" which was actually a skunk.. hahahhahahaha. and i didn't watch after that. and he claimed to know mel gibson and he was telling everyone about mel gibson.. when he was actually talking about his friend mal gibson. malcolm gibson. wah lao............... super funnny. hahahahah. then he was acting in the set as extras.. hahaha. and he almost killed the actor!?!?!?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. ok. i'm sorry. but super bo liao. i was waiting for me to finish yawning. i'm getting tired. deedum. okok i better go sleep if not tomorrow sleep during service. :S
nitez.
so they said.
Friday, April 30, 2004
man, it sucks being a sucker. it's ok being a moronic loser and stupid. but i think it's stupid being a sucker. see. stupidity is the cause. haiz. shall not blame stupidity though. but it's not like it was a choice i made. was it? well. i like the feeling. but the AFTERMATH. muahaha. i just used a chim word. ok whatever, i bet it's even used wrongly. hmm. yeah. haha. the after thingamagigs really really really really really really really really really really really stink. sigh. haha. ok. shan't elaborate.
was reading my diary entries just now, though i'm supposed to be studying. omg. jie. it's soooo your fault. i'm becoming like you. studying one day before the exam. shit. nooooo. kk. no. will study tonight. going to play squash with my father.. he's supposed to come back soon. need to train if i want to be at my peak for comp. haiz. comp in kl and s'pore. wow. so cool. anyways. yeah. know what. i totally forgot all the events until i HAD to read my diary. now i just feel like vomitting or maybe killing somebody or just laughing it off. actually. i'll just vent it out on the small black ball with 2 yellow dots. hm. poor wall and racket. i'm sorry ballie. :S should name my ball dylan. since it's such a nice name to whack. ohoh! i HAVE to announce i changed my soft-squishy-dirty-gross-ORANGE pillow's name to shane. muahaha. i named it after me.. haha. now my ball's name is dylan. hehe. aiyo. i hate remembering things which i don't want to remember. sigh. bleaugh.
obsessed with obsession. i hate obsession. obsession go away. i'm sick of you. i'm sick of seeing you everyday. shoo. everybody's obsessed with something. hm. i'm obsessed with obsession. cos i'm just so irritated with it.
deedum. aiyo. so sad. i got dumped by both my girlfriends.. hahahahahahahhahaahah. now one wants me back. ask me go jio her.. riiiiight. haha. then another girl wants me to be her boyfriend now.. and both of them who are good friends are fighting.. muahahah. over me! feels good. -cheeky grin- but for stupid reasons.
we're having this major scale angel and ward thingy in school. haha. can you imagine if i had gotten alethia as my angel or ward. i wouldn't mind anybody being my angel or ward.. just that i'd never hear the end of it from my friends.. i'm still not hearing the end of it. hahaha. but it's ok. longsuffering. :D
oh. have i mentioned that in a NORMAL school day. i get called stupid at LEAST 15 times.. when it is camille-abuse day.. woah. uncountable times man.. ahahaz. but then again. camille-abuse day is like what.. every other day.. people will just happily for absolutely no cow or chicken reason, throw paper balls at me.. then suddenly my erjie comes up to me and whacks me on my shoulder. then dajie would go. "OOH OOH! I WANNA JOIN IN!" then she'll come and whack me everywhere. and then she starts slapping me. and sanjie HAS to pick up one of the balls and throw it at me.. haiz.. haha. my FRIENDS arh.. my friends. tsk. haha. :D sijie just hits me anytime.. everytime. and always scolds me for not calling her sijie.. hahahahahah. yeah. that happened today. :D
in 2 weeks. school's going to be fun. cos no exams.. i'm soooooo going to party. i'm going to pierce my ears lor.. i don't care.. haha. tempted to pierce my bellybutton, nose, eyebrow, tongue.. HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. pleeeeeease. my mum will use a knife and poke holes in my body if i ever did. i doubt she'll even allow me to pierce 2 ear holes. but nevermind. haha. get a tatoo!!!! whatever cam.. get lost. haha. oops. gettin schizo. :O ok. haha. i should talking to myself.
i'm going to screw my mid-years. just watch me. but then again. that's good. then i can't get into triple science. but know what.. i'm starting to feel an inclination towards trip. sigh. why must the whole world already know where i'm going. and yet i still don't know. bleaugh. ok. i better stop blogging.
am still thinking about my diary. trying to stop thinking about it. i don't WANT to think about it.
kk. tata!
back. played squash for one hour. someone told me exercising when you're sick is only if you wanna die. hmm. maybe that's why i went to play. no lah. not now.
hit by myself. well yeah. with dylan. but yeah.. after that my father came and i made him feed me. not much of fun for him. sorry, but i can't feed myself. and.. sigh. i want indi for the holidays.. will i get scolded.
hm.. k. got pissed in the court. man i banged the floor hard. da almost scolded me. thank goodness he was quite in an ok mood. if not ah.. i'd be dead. hm. i was super pissed. haven't seen myself that angry in a long.. time. i guess yeah. i was right. for once in my whole entire life. yeah. squash helps me vent anger. but i didn't burst dylan. heng ah. new ball somemore. bleagh. but yeah. i couldn't get how to slice the ball from half court. stupid half court only. how to slice drop from the back!? stupid asshole camille. can't even do simple things.. you lousy idiot. ergh. hahahah. forgive the schizo. hey yeah. forgive the schizo. ok whatever camille. :S
bleagh. i'm REALLY stupid. and seriously everything i say and do is walking proof. oooh. i like the word epitome. i think it spells ( i was about to type smells -.-") nice.. and it sounds nice too. hhaa. yupyup.i'm the epitome of stupidity. sigh. i just clipped my own hand with my file. then i tripped over my bag. i just stuck my foot into it lor. omg. that's klutzy too. aiyo. sigh. so yeah. moronic loser lah. whee.
deedum. sigh. know what. i've realised that i can't stand my mouth. i go off shooting out stuff then i ask. whoops. was that supposed to be a secret. haiz. stupid mouth. or like.. i don't know.. my mouth is EVIL!!!!!!! hahahah.
pastor's mum's vigil service was yesterday yesterday and yesterday yesterday yesterday. couldn't go. parents didn't allow me to go cos i was SICK. humph. i wouldn't mind hiding behind the curtains so i wouldn't pass it. sigh. i wanted to be there. but couldn't. don't think the rest went. heard matt went. yay. :D matt's close to pastor. i think. i used to be real close to him. haiz. i shall practise my lit now.. and you can tell me why i'm going to fail my lit. hmm. describe pastor's character. pastor's really brave. how he's able to look cancer in the face and say that he's going to fight it. woah. i mean. how many people are going to say that. or maybe it's just this stupid coward here.. but in this stupid coward's eyes pastor is super brave. know what i shall stop doing lit. and just talk.. yeah. man. hm. links back to the confidence he has in God? the trust he has. the faith he has. i tell you. i admire pastor soooooooooo much. i'm not even worthy to be his fan.. if that's how i'm supposed to say it. cos i can't say he's not even worthy to be on my ou xiang list. erm.. as in. he's like.. way to great to be on my ou xiang list.. ohoh. everything DOES centre around faith doesn't it... like.. cos of faith that he has the confidence and the braveness to look cancer in the face. woah. that's something i need to cultivate. not want. need. but yeah. i want it too. hehez. suddenly my problems seem sooooooooooooooooooo freaking small. i'm reminded bout the story one of the pastor's told us during camp. it impacted me sooooooo much that it's been the most vivid thing stuck in my mind since camp. woah. seriously. the story is woah. about the crosses one. love that story. everybody including me thinks their own problem is so big. like whatever. there are people with greater problems. hmm. yesyes. back to pastor. what can i do for him? nono. we're super NOT going to paint him another mug/plate or anything jojo. enough of painting. cannot. too ugly. i know the answer is pray. erm. pray about what? ok. i shall go think about it. hmm. -scratches head- then again. there's nothing to think with. mwahaha. ok. cam. shaddup. be serious. ok. i'm sorry. :S yeah. man. pastor rocks. wait a minute. if pastor didn't have cancer would i still say he rocks. like duh......... ok. just checking. pastor had rocked. is rocking. will rock. hahaha. sounds like he's going to fall off. cam. STOPIT. omg. i'm sorry. ah... i seriously want the pic of pastor carrying me when i was a baby. i want a copy of it. sigh.
haha. we always do stuff for pastor and aunty sally. jojo, what we going to do now? any new stuff. just not difficult stuff. we're done with the candles. that had got to be the biggest failures.. actually no should see my school work.. hehe. sewing class.. hmm. i've been marked as the "needy" those who are lazy and can't sew.. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. i've been labelled. -grin- naughty sia. i tell you. watch me get stripped off my prefects badge next year. sigh. aiyo. haha. i think my conduct's going to be what. either good or very good. hoping for the latter. my excellent confirm gone liaoh. *SOB* my hard-earned excellents.. -sniff-
ok whatever. write me testimonials! haha.
so they said.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
woah. this is the 4th time i've been sick this year. it's only the first half of the year lor.. liew.. what's wrong with me. got into the car on monday and got a scolding from my mum. why? cos i fell sick again. haiz. she was like. COS YOU EXERT SO MUCH THEN YOU NEVER EAT PROPERLY. IT'S YOUR BODY YOUR LIFE. NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING EXCEPT YOU. WHO'S GOING TO LOOK AFTER YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. sigh.. i'm sorry. but i didn't mean it to get THIS serious.
but through all this. wow. i've realised how much my parents love me. and how much my true friends care. man i love you guys.. you really mean a LOT to me. :D really really.
but now.. more than anything. i'm truly worried about my mid-years. know what. i'm not halfway at all through my studying. and my exams start next tuesday. i think must as well commit suicide lor. i'm sooo dead. i haven't been able to study since monday. couldn't even get out of my bed. shitified. i'm so dead. sigh.. help.
important lesson i've learnt.. trust.
woah.. pastor suddenly gets so many blows. and yet, his faith is still so strong, so unwavered.. yet his trust is still so grounded. i truly marvel at his strength. omg. i'm dying.. cough until almost vomit. how the heck do you get rid of phleagm? or however you spell it. sigh..kk better go try and study.
so they said.
Sunday, April 25, 2004
honestly. i think i'm damn -slap- stupid. ergh. why did i have to melt. no.... now it hurts soooo much more. bleagh. sickening. you haven't. why should i? but i've been trying. stupid mouth. i HAD to do it right. but if you didn't then. you'd never find out what. but i'd rather not find out. i'd rather presume that you were trying to do the same thing since you're in that predicament. hm. know something. nothing's going to be back to normal. i've changed. i'm sure you have too. it's not going to be the same. i already feel so different towards you. don't try thinking everything's the same. i know you know something's different. ever since.
love is self-sacrificing.. love even when it's hard to love.. what we learnt in t hwee cheng's class. t mary didn't come today. ahaz. man. i really miss min as my sunday school teacher. darn. she totally rocks. haiz. haha. today combined class. omg.. we were making SOOO much noise. especially when she took out a picture of william hung. everybody started screaming.. haha. including me.. duh right. ahahahah. yupyup. then everybody was staring at us.. t dennis glared at us.. haha. :D sho naughty eh. whee. oh man.. i reaaaaaaally miss the time when it was just stephy, min and i. woah. that was the bestest sunday school class i ever had. cos i felt really comfortable sharing. but yeah. i was still more comfy just sharing with min. uh huh. min rocks. totally. she hosted so many gatherings at her house.. hahaha. i remember. 3 of us went to ntuc at ang mo kio and we shopped for our dinner. and we went over to her house to cook everything. woah.. it totally rocked. then rach came over. and we were watching tv and eating. and after dinner we went to her room and ate strawberries and whipped cream.. woah.. super good. haha. screaming and laughing like siao. whee. her parents know me. :D haha. cos i've been there so many times. hmm. it's like what. 10m away from my house.. ahaz. yupyup.
deeda. i'm falling sick. i just sneezed. and i don't sneeze. haha. and. my throat feels funny. my nose too. i HATE this.. noooooooooo cannot fall sick! :'( exams are coming. know what. doctor told me if i get cough, fever running nose, plus my painful appendix thingy. may mean i've got appendicitis. GREAT. usually when i scream a lot. i just lose my voice. don't get sore throat. haiz. just pray it's exam fever. not now. not now.
bleagh. yesterday was the streaming talk thingy. and yeah. after the talk.. my prefect friends asked me where i was going. i didn't get to answer they already said triple science.. WHAAAAT. it's irritating how people already expect me to take triple.. please.. think my mum doesn't want me to go triple science. ergh. freak lah. expectations. bleagh. ahah. but yeah. had LOADS of fun yesterday.. was laughing and screaming like mad.. aiyo. siao. haha. becky and i ah.. we're the noisiest prefects EVER. haha. even the prefect mistress said that. haha. we're just enthu. and we love having fun.. becky's changed a LOT. she came to primary school in pri 5. i think. yeah. and we were best friends.. haha. then we 'broke up' sounds sick.. but yeah. we continued being good friends. whee. but she really changed a lot from the start of school until we 'broke up' haha. man i'm influential.. haha. she's become much louder as compared to herself last time.. trang too. peer influence. eh. *cough* good influence. haha. :D but yeah.. haha. omg. people. i feel like their trying to make their laughter sound like mine. aiyo. attention seekers. haha. i PROMISE. I'VE NEVER NEVER FORCED MY LAUGHTER LIKE THAT. i've ALWAYS had it. ever since my father could make me laugh. i've laughed like that. i promise. i really promise. my parents used to make fun of me. then i stopped. and then it came back again.. it's natural. and i can't help it if i need to breathe when i'm laughing really hard. aiyo. but. sigh. i guess. if you want to copy you may try.. people trying to make their laughter sound really funny. sigh. never knew i was so influential.. haha. i shall practise longsuffering.. hahahahahahahahaha. whatever man..
aiyo. and today. rach, sawah and i went up for morning service and ten million people asked me why i went up.. haha. so i gave a SUPER lame excuse that we missed service. well yeah. it's true. but we well i wanted to go watch the bells. i think they did too. yup. and. oh. i wanted to hear about pastor's cancer. was super glad kor was there. then he got to hear it for himself too. hope he's feeling better. :S
kk.better go. tata.
so they said.
