Saturday, May 29, 2004
wheeness. oh wow. new word. in addition to walala and i forgot the other word. ok. fine. wotever. yup. yesterday was MADNESS. min was so embarrassed by us. me. haha. i was like sitting on the floor in the middle of suntec city. wahaha. and haha. we were laughing our heads off. sho farnee. reached home at arnd 1130. woah. like the latest. haha. but it was SOOO fun. haha. min rocks. haha. was telling her about our 2 fan clubs. the one for her boyfriend and kenneth. haha. yay. so fun. we sent sarah home. all the way at woodlands. haha. jojo was sleeping in the car. so pokai. rach and i were laughing all the way home. seriously. our intelligence is soooo high. the things we say. i can't remember. but rach was getting tongue twisted the whole day. and i was stuttering. haha. and we were talking about expressways. such an intelligible topic to talk about. haha. omg. we were talking super dirty. haha. my brain's made up of shit. according to t chen kee cos i keep saying shit. haha. fooine. what brain. yeah.
anyway on a more serious note. during dinner at MARCHE! we were sharing. and as usual i'm always the last to share. haha. but somehow she knows i'm always the last one to share. yeah. hm. i was tyring SUPER hard to fight back tears. i bet it would have fallen into the rosti. hm. yeah. sigh. talking about what's been happening. somehow i didn't tell anybody except min. haha. she's like the only one i dare tell. she rocks lah. yeah. anyway. she really helped. she knew i changed like since the beginning of the year even before i knew i was changing. woah. and. haha. i'm sorry guys. i didn't tell you all what was happening. like. i didn't wanna be judged. i didn't really wanna be pitied. sigh. God's not real in my life. sigh. i want Him to be real though. guess that want just ain't powerful enough. i know i need Him. i know my problems and only He can get me out. but don't know why leh. so confused. my head's in a swirl. bleagh.
i'm super pmsing. crap. i'm not supposed to be pmsing. haha. i'm really really very cranky. haha. don't piss me off. i got so pissed with my piano teacher this morning. i totally played rubbish even though she made me go through it so many times. haha. i had the whatever face on my face.
dad's chasing me to eat lunch. ciao. i am yet not looking forward to later. sigh. ciao.
so they said.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
sigh. i hate it when my parents quarrel. usually when one of them is in a bad mood. yeah. then my dad usually blames everything that goes wrong with the comp on my brother. and that totally pisses me off. i just walk away. i remember a few times. i cried when my brother got a scolding. and i argued with my parents cos they made him cry. hahahaha. so dumb.
yay. can't wait for tomorrow. it's totally going to rock! whee. :D yupyup. got lots to do.
changed my rubberband colour. orange and blue. *cough* no. don't mean no nothing. i think.alrighty. better go. ciao.
so they said.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Makes me wanna cry oh yes it does
Cuz I had to say goodbye
By now I should know
That in time things would change
So it shouldn't be so bad
So why do I feel so sad
How can I adjust
To the way that things are going
It's killing me slowly
Oh I just want it to be how it used to be
Cuz I wish that I could stay
But in time things must change
So it shouldn't be so bad
So why do I feel so sad
You cannot hide the way you feel inside I realize
Your actions speak much louder than words
change. sucks. seriously. i don't like leh. hm. went for parent-teacher meeting today. bleagh. so sucky. haha. so embarrassing. haha. teacher only had one comment. "Camille's a livewire" 0.o ok. right. blah dee blah. talking about my results. hm. ahaz. yeah. i'm super tired.
intermediate squad training is crazy know. woah. fun though. run like mad. ah gu was right. a LOT of physical. more than everything else. deedum. yeah. i slipped in court today. prolly on my pespiration. suddenly i forgot how to spell that word. hm. sweat? yeah. i slipped. who slips in squash. hm. yeah. landed on my left knee which has already 2 blue-blacks. great. ANOTHER one. yeah. and i already pulled my ligament. and yeah. i twisted my ankle and pulled my front muscle. damn pain. -slap- can hardly walk. it's really pain lah. great. hm. we did court sprints today too. ahha. :D d-dies- i'm going to die. bleagh. can sleep right now. actually. i think i shall do just that. can't be bothered already. SUPER tired. aiyoooooo. thank goodness no school 2mr. sigh.
"my minds filled with a thousand thoughts of you" haha. nice song. just heard it on radio. deedum. stupid neoprints. wish i could take it out. but it's stuck. irritating. got suaned like crap today larh.. please. like NEVER him lor. disgusted.
think they're going to be pissed with me AGAIN. haiyah. sorry.. but i really am DAMN tired. you all go and train tell me if you're not tired. and 2mr not say that free. sorry. aiya. i also can'y go out mah. i REALLY am looking forward 2 friday. so many reasons. yesyes. one of them. not really. don't care. yeah. but whoo. last day of school. going out. yay.
have i mentioned that my ankle really really really hurts. sigh. ok. going to sleep. nitez.
so they said.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
So say goodbye oh i can't say that i won't cry
Cause i'm so glad
For everything we had
The good and bad
Say goodbye
Just look at me
You'll know that i still love you so
Even though we have to say goodbye
No matter where you are
Wherever that may be
I will always have you here
Deep in the heart of me
And if i never see that warm and tender smile again
We will always have the memories
haha. just browsing.. laadeeda. ooh song i'm like listening now on radio. XD
goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.
Hold on to...
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
WALALA. ahha. my new word. haha. came up with it on the bus. since when you so nice wan. ahha. since then. sigh. sucks lah. hate everything that's going on. ergh.
today had sculpture walk. haha! oosh. my class was lucky we got to go orchard. haha. :D wah lao. i'm DAMN tired. and everyday i'm waking up with a worse mood each day. and today, the head prefect really pissed me off man. sigh. i don't get pissed with people wan. just today. totally rubbed me the wrong way and now. i can't stand her. i don't know how i'm supposed to work with a head prefect i don't like. deedum.
:'( what's happening to me? tell me. somebody tell me. there's this sudden feeling of inferiority and insecurity. i swear i can cry like NOW. if you just ask me to. my self-esteem has dropped like crap over the period of one week.. i don't know what's happening. i'm so damn confused. izzit the lack of sleep? pms? it's driving me nuts. i'm sooo freaking scared. i really am. the scariest thing is i don't know what i'm scared of. argh. just one is all i ask. i don't even have one. :'( noooo. i'm dying. i can't believe i said. "overtake then overtake lah" omg. what's happening. cannot. squash is driving me crazy. the lack of sleep is driving me crazy. i cannot take it. i'm scared i cannot take it. i'm scared. i'm scared. i've never felt this scared in my whoole entire life. where are you? where are you? where? where?! i'm being driven mad. i hate this feeling. i really do. really really really. why am i so scared? why do i feel so insecure? argh. cannot. cannot. cannot. shit. shit. shit. change my focus. change. change. but even if i do. the fear's still there. my dreams are starting to crash down in front of me. my drive is disappearing. why do i feel this? i'm damn confused. sigh.
i just realised that BEP is like.. performing NOW.. haha. so sad. i wanted to go for their concert. bleagh. i wanna go for linkin park man. prolly go deaf though. who cares. stephy's asking me to go with her. but i doubt my mum will allow me to go. school's allowing us to bring handphone. like it's going to make any difference. practically the whole school already brings. sigh. i don't bring. except on saturdays. ahah. yeah. who cares.. your parents are supposed to sign a consent form though. and my mum doesn't allow. ERGH. pissed.
WHATEVER LAH.
so they said.
Monday, May 24, 2004
Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting
And I wrote this letter in my head
'Cuz so many things were left unsaid
but now you're gone
And I can't think straight
This could be the one last chance
To make you understand
I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
'Cuz I know I won't forget you
I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep
I can't forget you
And I'd do anything for you
-simple plan-
whee. nice song.
annoying. haha. people DARE people to add me to msn. riiiiight. ok. hm. making me guess who it is. "you know i exist, but you don't know me" woah. beeg clue huh. sigh.
haha. okok. it's quite freaky you know. somehow i feel quite uncomfy around those people.
dumdeedum. stupid internet connection keeps getting cut off. i'm talking to 8 people. and everyone's like talking at the same time. i can't keep up. i can't be bothered i'm just blogging. yeah. talked to sawah on the phone last night as i already mentioned yeah. and haha.
"a million gazillion is smaller than thirteen" hahaha. i was the inspiration for that phrase. it's not my fault my engrish is so powderful. haha. munk/monk. hahahahaha. okok. yeah. erm.
then we were talking about something and we came up with. "THAT feeling is so cliched, but then again, every emotion would be cliched cos everyone on earth would have felt the same way before" haha. so nice!? i hate that feeling. it's seriously annoying. and i'm getting a headache. sigh. i'm super irratable now. and seriously. don't piss me off. haha. really feel horrible. ok. shall go and sleep. coming... wonder what's going to change. again.
so they said.
know what.. i had a LOT to write yesterday. and now i forgot. but i couldn't blog yesterday. cos i had to do my homework. stupid. i watched anastasia. so i couldn't do homework. intelligent. yeah. then i talked to sawah on the phone untl 1030. woah. almost died today sho tired. bleagh.
leaving next week. kinda looking forward to it. mum's tagging along so can go shopping. whee. ok. i can't think of what to write.
ooh. taking us out on friday! yay. :D so cool. haven't gone out in such a loooooong time with. yeah. whee. so sad. ook. shall go. ciao.
so they said.
