Saturday, October 16, 2004
i'm too tired for bitchiness right now. so i don't really give a d***. if you'd help maybe you wouldn't feel this way. you tell me who's the hypocrite LAH. argh. wateFA.
i want to visit daddy like NOW. argh. hope i can go tomorrow. do i seem like i don't care? i do. i really do. and.. yeah. hum. shh. nothing.
anyway. yeah. today was fun. got to see benk's electric guitar. woah. so cool!! ahh. ahha. then we went to jojo's house to like play guitar and sing. ahah. so dumb. but we ended up on the comp. llaala.
i've been looking forward to the ypg message the whole week. and. yeah. i'll go ponder and stuff. better go. if not tomorrow cannot wake up. nights.
ilu. holds hand. prays.
so they said.
Friday, October 15, 2004
forgive and forget.
know what. sometimes, most of the time. i forget to forgive. and i get angry. and let my emotions rule and my responses to situations aren't very good testimonial-like. and it's SO diffucult to think what i'm going to respond before i respond so that i'll respond well. but. i always realise a split second late. crap. yeah. and whether i realise it by showing it, or just thinking it. it's still that difference. i don't know. i base it on a lot of things. which shouldn't be so. forgiving is something i need to learn. like forgiving without needing to search and search for a reason. like. ok. if you're lovable then yeah i'll forgive. but if you do it to me ten billion times. AIYO. that one. i really need to think and pray that i can forgive. and totally forget. it's SUPER tough. so yeah. i need to learn to do that.
know what. tomorrow's training. i'm sorta not looking forward to it. sigh. i only can go for 1 and a half hours leh. hmm. :S think i'll get scolded soon. i'll train more on weekdays. siigh. know what. i wanted to become a peer leader too. but seriously. i think i won't be able to handle it. like REALLY cannot handle it. i feel quite restricted cos i can't take on other stuff cos i may have too much. aiyaiyai.
oohooh. haha. i got 18 for my oral. YEAH MAN!! haha. that's the only thing i'm good at. talking. haaha. oh. something bit mee. eeeyer.
anyway. was watching pinocchio just now. (: i just realised i haven't watched it in YEARS so i couldn't remember the story. so i watched it on disney. and the show is like sad throughout. haha. anastasia still rocks waaay more lah. yupp. can't wait for tomorrow. everybody will be back. and yeah. humm.
it will be shortlived. i tell you. like the desire will be shortlived. and then it'll just go back. i seriously hope not. and only ** will be affected. and it'll go again and again. lalala. tired.
oh. people yawn when they're tired. i sneeze. seirously. i sneeze the most number of times at night. and i need some artistic talent. like SERIOUSLY.
i think i'm going to die. hope not. i didn't do anything. ok. PHEW. right. i don't know. like talk about more stuff. i guess. but still.
i'm dying. talking too much. better stop blogging before i go crazy. taa. tomorrow tomorrow!!
so they said.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
yeah. my mum was supposed to be happy. cos i'm happy. THANKS mum. sigh. "Jesus knows your joy, Jesus knows your pain" at least He understands. i won't show it anyway.
so they said.
lalala. grinns. can anybody tell i'm in a good mood. deedum. i got ALL my results back. yayness. you were sooo right. the Lord doesn't shortchange at all. (: thanks much. and i wasn't worried. grinns. sorta kinda. ok fine. i was.
anyway. my results are ooookeh. not fantastic. didn't expect it to be. considering i didn't put in a fantastic amount of effort. haha. i'm WAAAY over the "life is so unfair, some people study less than me still get higher than me" yupp. i'm proud to say i'm soo over it. my friends didn't do very well. or so i thought. like usually they do like 10 marks higher than me one. OOH! STEPHY DID WELL!! WOW!! HAHA. AM SO PROUD OF HER!! HUGGS. (: hm. i don't know. but yeah. whatever it is. i'm SUPER thankful. OH! AND I PASSED MY HIGHER CHINESE. know when my lao shi came in and announced that everyone passed their higher chinese i almost cried!! cos rumour was spread round that half of our class failed. liew. haha. my compo and gong han pulled me down. haha. who cares. i did well for my paper. i got 70.5/110 like hello. i improved by 15 marks. well the paper was easy. hehez. whoops. yeah. and i got a c5!! oosh. a HIGH c5. like 58.3 grinns. -pats head- haha. aiyo. and lit. humm. b3 lehh. haiyah. 68.7.. missed by 1.3 to get an a.. didnt' expect to get a b lah. hmm. the rest quite ok. ANND. my famous amos compo got 21/25 my friends were like WHAT THE!!?? haha. so sad. nobody believes i'm talented. haha. grinns. but i minused 0.5 for no title. grr.
sigh. science. was SUPER disappointed. didn't even get a1 lah. tsk. PHYSICS. PHYSICS. i'm sooo determined to conquer physics by the end of next year. humph. i tell you! i got like ZERO for physics part. arghh. sick. hahaahahah. though i found it quite amusing. laughing at my utter stupidity. aiyoo. cam ahh. haha. but i really wanted to do much better on science. like. it's my strongest subject. bleahh. english was a surprise. my oral and compo pulled me up like CRAP lah. i could have put in more effort for my compre though. hehez. :S whoops. though i don't know my oral marks. i hope she's right. :S
handsome.chiobu.you.
going to eat crabs and stuff after this. yumyum. sigh. i wonder how my brother's going to do for his psle. i'm very scared for him. their science paper was tough. haha. or so the whole of Singapore knows. p6 already come home crying. whaaaat. wait till they come to sec school. or even further. know what. i was going pass nanyang poly. on the way home from mrt. and there's this pic of people lahh. and yeah. goodness. their eyebags are big. not that i'm trying to insult them or anything but. dies. here i am trying to get rid of eyebags. what's the use. when i go to uni. i seriously think i'm just going to die. haha. (:
i think i better go now. taa. (:
so they said.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
omg. i'm actually using MY computer not my dad's WOW. ahh. like i haven't used it in ages. actually it just hasn't worked in ages. yupp. know what. i'm looking forward to saturday. cos yeah. like everybody will be back. but grr. training starts. i'm trying soo hard to think positive and psyche myself up. IT'S NOT WORKING. sigh. pray. just pray.
anyway. crap. marking days are over. bleahh. haha. tomorrow. guess what! getting results back. sigh. -bites nails- i hope i can sleep. yupp.
yesterday, today and forever, You are faithful and we will trust in You.
been singing that song the WHOLE day cos i've been playing it the whole day. omg. my fingers are like HOW sore can. haha. played for 4 hours today. at least. haha. yupp. sho fun. loveit. yeah. and sunday chio bu and i are going to learn from t swee chuan! yayness. yupp.
know what. now i'm so relaxed. my faith is so relaxed too. cannot cannot. i must step up on my faith since i'm so free. and that's precisely what i'm going to do! (:
the godly friendship thing is like so far. get what i mean. like i can't reach it. sigh. tried, but not hard enough. i think it's sorta one-sided now. haiz.
anyway. yeah. forgot to finish it. it was nice. seriously. can't stop thinking about it again. at least it isn't as unhealthy as it was last time. the only reason i'm thinking about it. is cos. i don't know what i'm going to do noww. whoops. i really really miss it. but i lg liaohs. haha. wow. congrats. as in SERIOUSLY. you know why. thanks anyway. but. there's really no point in apologising. don't hold it against you.
laaa. i've got butterflies in my tummy because of tomorrow. and i seriously don't think i'm going to do very well. but yeah. must watch my response. VERY carefully. i've got a tendency of crying and swearing and being VERY angry. and. hmm. self-abusive. yup. but i'm so much more concious of my testimony after seeing how much people notice. seriously. it does matter. yeah. better not type to long.
it was because.
love you much.
so they said.
Monday, October 11, 2004
you felt good.
haha. whee. today rocked. though it was OOBA tiring. shan't say where i went to. but i don't understand how one can walk so much though s'pore is SOO small. and i'm really grateful for that. if not i would just die now. aiyo. i'm cramping up everywhere. and my feet hurt. ouch. singapore has good food too. i'm starting to soudn like a suaku. though i am. hehe.
i can't blog since i'm soo tired.
GROSS.
changed so much. i've changed and grown. come on. you can't expect me to just stay at that stupid level. i made my mistakes and i've learnt from them. woah. i never knew i'd ever tell you stuff again. i still trust you so much lah. aiyo. nobody else knows. humm. right. gtg. taa.
just as sweet. not as suckered. [but it still feels nice]
so they said.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
oh i shouldn't have yelled. then no one would have stared. cursed joanne's watch which we couldn't read. crap. hasbeen. thank goodness bimbo and i left the library to go to buy snacks. haha. poor girl she was dying studying with me. grinns. oh. jojo it really isn't your fault. and hey you guys. all the best. just a few more days keh!! (: hang in there. soon you'll be enjoying!!
so they said.
no more pain, no more sorrow, no more waiting for illiusive tomorrows there will be no more pain no more dying. no more striving or strain.
hum. i don't know. i don't feel better after talking to uncle. i need a superwoman. who can depend on men nowadays. haha. talked to 4 today. didn't even see 1 at all. :'( no.2. haha. didnt' really cry. yeah. i feel good. helped bimbo (cara) and anna (anna) study today. was like helping cara for 3 hours straight. woah. tutoring is FUN. seriously. well. only if it's science. that's ALL i can tutor. haha. seriously. right. that was funny. you're good at cheering me up. but i don't feel better. i'm really sick and tired of everything. sigh. bleagh.
haha. handsome. ok lah. think i'm siao. seriously. right. shall go. feel annoyed. and sick and tired. have i mentioned that. shows how SICK AND TIRED i am. SICK AND TIRED. there's really so much that i can ren you know. i should stop here. i have learnt my lesson. and will just keep my trap shut. just in case. right. keh. ta.
so they said.
